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    Boundary Styles: What’s yours?

    When it comes to boundaries, there are many different ways to communicate them. Some of us really struggle with being direct, while others might find themselves being overly confrontation. The middle can be difficult to find.

    In Nedra Tawwab Glover’s incredible book- Set Boundaries, Find Peace (seriously if you have not read it yet, do it! One of our all time favorite books!) she lays out a few communication styles of boundaries.

    Boundary communication styles can be…

    Porous: Struggle to say no, often feel burnt out / guilty, engage in people-pleasing behaviors, does not make time to care for themselves, communicates boundaries in a passive or vague way, unlikely to maintain boundary if someone pushes back.

    Healthy: Connects with others in a honest way, can say no, is able to ask for help, takes care of self, helps others if they have available time / energy / resources, clear and direct (but kind), willing to make reasonable compromises but is also able to maintain boundary when others push back

    Rigid: Keeps people at a distance, isolates, relies on no one & allows no one to rely on them, at times overly confrontational, communicates directly (and sometimes harshly, allows little room for push back but might struggle to engage in appropriate comprise

    Reflection questions

    • Which style feels most familiar to you?
    • How does it feel to communicate your boundaries this way?
    • Has this approach been effective?